Chakka

UPDATED 5/13 with links.

I want to love more.

It amazes me when I interact with my mother. To me, she is pure love.  I say my mom is love, like I say my mom is teaching, or my mom is cooking. Whenever I get off the phone with her and  say “I love you,” she replies with “I love you more.” As much as I want to say “nuh uh!” I know I can’t compete with my mother in the love department. I do the best I can, but she is a love veteran.

I think something happens to most people when they are given responsibility for someone else’s life. A selflessness, an unconditional caring, a thoughtfulness that may only be possible when you been with someone from the very beginning. I’d like to think I could offer this to another person without having them pass through my yaya, but I have a ways to go.

The pending Venus retrograde (May 15th-June 27th) has been a difficult but necessary time for me. In addition to the increase in social hostility we’ve been seeing in the U.S., my romantic partnership ended, and old friends have appeared in my life as well as old hurts and issues. I feel clear, if not remarkably certain about the step I need to take next (which I will go into in a future entry). By chance, I saw a Youtube video about meditating with a rose quartz stone. Rose quartz has many properties, including opening the heart chakra, attracting love, healing past hurts and making way for forgiveness.

This information stayed with me when I went out with a friend last night. We went into a shop she wanted to get incense from, and the shop had an amazing selection of spiritual goods, books, as well as some gorgeous jewelry.

I saw a case with many stones in it, and I narrowed my gaze on the shelf of rose quartz. Some were shaped like eggs, others orbs, others more like crystals, like the one I opted for. I wanted to get a pendant to wear over my heart, but that will have to wait until I open my pocket chakra .

My friend got a smaller one and put it in her bra, right over her heart. When I got home I was so excited about my stone that I didn’t clean it, but decided to put it in my shirt while I watched SNL.

I woke up on the couch at 5am. Luckily, I hadn’t stabbed myself with the rose quartz, but my chest did feel heavy. It felt like congestion, like a cold, but the room was a good temperature when I woke up, so I’m not sure. Maybe some of my “blockages” had come to the surface over night? Who knows?

This morning, I decided to clean my rose quartz so I can make sure it’s ready for my energy and my intentions. The articles I’ve been reading say it’s important to keep healing stones clean. I opted to soak mine in a glass of cold tap water and sea salt (the article advised against using plastic or metal containers, warm or hot water, or table salt. Doing any of these could ruin the stone). I’m going to let it soak all day and use it to meditate in the morning.

Do I think having a crystal will help me love more? I think it could facilitate the work I’m already doing. Spiritually, anything that eludes to the connectedness between people and nature makes sense to me. If anything, looking at it on my nightstand and touching it will remind me, like my mom, to be love. Not even to embody it, but to actively do it.

The death of Whitney Houston has left me with a question. Like the passing of Michael Jackson before her, Houston’s death produced a jolt of realization in me, as if her passing was further confirmation that something about our world, our collective culture, had changed for the worst. Has our cultural climate become inhospitable to superstars, super talents, and legends?

Before Houston was a punch line on MAD TV (in fairness, I always felt that Debra Wilson’s impersonation of Whitney was transcendent, although I am not sure if I’ll ever be able to watch it the same way again), or a reality TV tart, or the source of a slew of catch-phrases (“Crack is wack,” “Show me the receipts,”) Houston sold over 170 million records worldwide and was the first female artist to have a debut album enter the Billboard charts at number one. She was a superstar, with a voice that was both awe-inspiring and original.

Houston, like all human beings, had insecurities, and unfortunately retreated to substances to ease her pain. By the time Houston was in the crux of her substance abuse problem, we had video sites like YouTube and blogs, two things that would guarantee that every skittish interview, crooked wig, and sweaty upper lip shot would not only never be forgotten, but available 24 hours a day and open to the scrutiny of anonymous strangers.

We all laughed at Houston at some point, myself included. Whitney had become our collective auntie, who we all loved, and we elected to find humor in her addiction instead of worry and shame. Though we hated the turn her life and image had taken, in a way, Whitney as a hype was more accessible, more authentic. Once accused of not being “black enough” in the eighties, those accusations stopped once her issues with drugs became public. Interestingly, Whitney belong to the world at the height of her fame, but once she was firmly entrenched in her battle with drugs, she went from a pop star, to a troubled, R&B (read:black) star, her husband Bobby Brown often erroneously referred to by white members of the press as a “rapper.”

Similarly to Amy Winehouse, I always thought Whitney would pull it together and show all of her detractors, or at the very least, be a perpetual hot mess like Keith Richards. A living hot mess, but a hot mess nevertheless.  Though at this point the cause of death has not been confirmed, like Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse and others we’ve lost after public struggles with substances, I can’t help but wonder if something can be done to make popular culture a friendlier place, a place where you are not defined by your human failings, but by your superhuman gifts. If not, in an age where celebrity is more niche and short-lived than ever, and where mediocre is a way of life, what we are witnessing is the gradual death of the Superstar as we know it.

One of my favorite songs by Whitney- Lover for Life

“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.”-Oprah Winfrey

The Facebook interview with Oprah Winfrey could not have come to me at a better time. Today (Sept 9th) markers the 25th anniversary of Oprah becoming the first African-American woman to host a nationally-syndicated talk show. It also comes after my week-long visit to Chicago, my birthplace.  Most importantly, this interview came at one of those times that all people have, creative people especially, where I started to wonder if I was on the right path spiritually, professionally, geographically, etc.

When Oprah said this, it became clear to me: This path is uncharted, and will always be uncertain, because I am the only one who has ever walked it.

As an inspiration junkie, I love scouring the internet for stories, videos, songs, any piece of media that inspires me. However, maybe what I’m really searching for is proof. Proof that someone like me can do this. Become a filmmaker with no formal training. Translate counseling and psychology and an obsession with media into a career that helps other artists. Another black woman from Chicago who made a drastic career change in their late-20s and lived to tell the tale.

I will not find that story. I have to make it.

The story that I am looking for is my story, and it is never-ending. I don’t know if each item on my to-do list will bring me closer to the life I want, but I can try, and I can learn along the way.

I feel better now. While I continue to go down my to-do list and balance planning with action, I will accept that I am creating this path as I go, and the best inspiration I can receive is from those who have done the same.

Happy Friday

Note: If you like this post and want to support, please go to my about.me page (http://about.me/chakkareeves) and vote for my page to appear in a Times Square billboard! Thank you.

Hurricane Irene passed through the East Coast, causing billions of dollars worth of damage and at least 20 deaths. And yet, some people are not impressed.

Many people, primarily in metropolitan areas, question whether the level one hurricane/tropical storm was worth the precautions taken, or if the media over-hyped it.

To which I say: Get a grip.

Part of the ceiling in my apartment came down. My car flooded. Down the street, the wind uprooted a huge tree, slamming it in on to a parked car, destroying it.

But what can you do? After calling Liberty Mutual any way, what can you actually do in situations like this? Accept them.

Natural disasters don’t need your approval or validation. They are reminders in our type-A society that there remain things that we can’t control, and in a way, this applies to most things we think we have control over. Your favorite music festival was cancelled, or your flight to the Caymens was grounded, or you had to wait in line while you and other human beings prepared for days without lights, cooking heat or access to take-out Chinese food.Yes, Irene totally cramped your style. Consider that maybe, Irene, and even last week’s earthquake were reminders that life isn’t about to-do list and “plans,” though it makes us feel good to have them. Ultimately, our lives are uncertain. Accept this fact, and you can still enjoy it in a meaningful way.

Note: If you like this post and want to support, please go to my about.me page (http://about.me/chakkareeves) and vote for my page to appear in a Times Square billboard! Thank you.

UPDATE: One of my readers informed me that the page has been removed. A cache version of it can be found here for a limited time:

I came across the IndieGogo campaign for “Gang of Roses 2″ after reading on an entertainment website that Amber Rose had been added to the cast of the movie. A Google search yielded the IndieGogo page for the project, which can be found here:

http://www.indiegogo.com/Gang-of-Roses-2 (inactive as of 3:18pm EST, 7/28/2011)

A short story:

A friend and I attended an event held by the Philadelphia Film Office last year. We were mingling, laughing and munching on fantastic mini cupcakes, when a man passed me. Without saying a word, he dropped a package into my hands and walked off, without even making eye contact.

I showed the package to my friend. “He is at every film event I go to in Philly” she said, rolling her eyes.

As soon as I got home, my partner and I took the pieces of the package apart. Folded in a piece of paper, we found the following:

*Two recordable discs, with “Movies” written on one and “Music” written on the other, both in black Sharpie pen

*A press release on orange construction paper

* A story about the filmmaker, written for a fake publication

Not long after we hit “play” on the CD marked “Music,” we realized that it was just a play list of songs. Pretty good songs, but not songs from his work like we thought.

Next: The CD marked “Movies.” It was a mix of interviews, clips from some of his films, and heavy use of Word Art and the “flying” transition effect.

After my partner and I stopped laughing, we realized something: Regardless of the filmmaker’s taste level, he was 1) Productive and 2) Getting his message out there, two things that are essential to making a living as a creative professional. It was clear, however, that he had not taken time to develop his craft, cultivate resources, and evolve his taste level. The production value of his work was woefully poor, as were his marketing methods. Sure he got his work into my hands (literally) but he didn’t engage me. I’m not checking for his future projects, other than for more examples of what NOT to do.

This post is the start of a weekly series on Freedomreeves.com called “The Creative Toolbox.” It’s about the balance we must navigate in order to create creative careers that are 1) Fulfilling, 2) Sustaining (financially and creatively) and 3) Productive.

I’m writing this series as someone who is putting my creative toolbox together, and helping others do the same. I will share my methods, reflections and the resources that I’m using. Even though this series will have a “how-to,” vibe, it is coming from a “how-I” place. The most important thing I have learned thus far is there is no “right way” for everyone, just the right way for you.

Stay tuned as I blog about finding my “toolbox.”

Peace,
Freedom

I grew up in a time before gossip blogs blurred the line between the sensational and informational. Because of the history of the written word, people are conditioned to see something in print as having more credibility than, say a talk show or radio show. News shows and publications need experts, statistics, sources, while a blog need only say that they got their information from a “credible source” before the information is spread far and wide.

Especially if the news is about perennial click-draw and rapper girlfriend Amber Rose.

When her graphic photos were leaked on the Internet last week, spellcheck-phobic gossip site Mediatakeout.com attached a story from a so-called credible insider about how Amber had sent the pictures to rumored boyfriend of Nicki Minaj, Safaree Samuels, on the night of her birthday party. How awful! The skank! Once a ho, always a ho and so forth.

While the pictures of Rose were authentic, the story turned out to be pure fabrication. Nicki Minaj even send out a tweet in defense of her friend.

If this were a newspaper, a retraction would have been printed, but Media Take Out is not journalism. We’re talking about a site that is known for pushing the boundaries of good taste, grammar, relevance, and above all, truth.

I know all of this, and I have a context for it. I also know that tabloids news is much older than the Internet. What troubles me is the generation of web-surfing teens and pre-teens that are growing up after me, ones that don’t know the difference between news and gossip, the difference between sources and hear-say. The fact that Huffington Post links to the site further blurs the line.

Regardless of how you feel about celebutantes like Rose, no one deserves to be lied about. The truth is all we have, and that’s what real journalism is about. We also need to be critical of a media culture that thrives on judging those who are deemed less worthy of legitimate celebrity. The people that comment on gossip sites, asking why someone is news-worthy are asking an important, albeit, miss-worded question. The question should be: Why is this person the chosen target for our collective judgement and ridicule this week? Readers: What do you think?

If you want to know more about my thoughts on blogs and media/celebrity culture, check out one of my older posts: The Attention Economy.